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Images from Budapest, 2007, digital photography, www.carolineallen.com
This blog is the third in a series on re-visioning a career to do more meaningful work in the world.
One of the single biggest issues facing clients I work with in setting up a new business as a life coach, healer or spiritual teacher is not how to attract clients or establish a business model, it’s not even about getting support from their loved ones for their new venture. The single greatest challenge with the clients I see seems to be around their empathy and how to set good boundaries.
Like these clients, I am empathic and sometimes absorb the pain and trauma of my clients. My empathy is one of my greatest blessings. My ability to feel and see on such a deep level is why I do art, take photographs, write fiction. It is how I can channel spirit guides for my clients and help transform their lives.
Sometimes, though, I get overwhelmed with a client’s pain. I’m exhausted after a session and have to go to bed early or cancel plans with friends or spend hours sorting through what are my emotions and what are the emotions of my clients. This deeply affects any chance I have of living a “normal” life, and can seriously cut into the clarity and energy I need to do my own creative work.
Clients who want to set up a healing practice often find this empathy and their own knowledge that they may get overwhelmed by their clients to be a great obstacle in going forward with setting up a successful business.
What to do about it? I thought I’d use the tarot today and throw a reading on the subject. Ok here goes.
Reading on Empathy and Boundaries. I am not going to try to “fit” the reading into anything — I’m just going to channel the information and type it here:
Treat yourself well and lovingly through the process. In underestimating your worth, you allow others to underestimate your worth. This is exhausting. Page of Cup reversed.
Be yourself. Do not try to bend yourself to the needs of the client. Rather shine your unique creative nature into the world and let healing happen. Do not “try” to heal, just BE. Ace of Rods
It’s OK to outsource skills you don’t have. If you’re a creativity coach, just do creativity and leave business coaching to the business coaches. Give clients referrals if you feel what they’re asking is not your area of expertise. Death reversed.
Keep your office and your work hours strongly boundaried. Do not do work with clients outside your sacred space or outside your work hours. Do not let it bleed to other rooms or other times. Set the edges of the canvas and paint within those edges. Four of wands in the challenge position
Healers working with clients have to figure out whether or not the client is ready to hear the spiritual truth. Sometimes we get spiritual messages and do not know whether or not it’s time to say it to the client. Ask the universe to help. I always say: Universe only give me the information I can pass on. Do not give me information about the client that I am not supposed to say. That took the guess work out of it. Also, you don’t know what will be particularly healing for a client, so don’t question the information your channel just pass it on. Five of Swords reversed and Four of Swords.
Let go and let God. Or let go and let Spirit or Universe. Do not be so eager to “help” that you try too hard. In the trying too hard comes boundary issues. Just give the healing and let go. You are only one of many people and situations in the person’s life that is meant to bring about healing. Do your part and let it go. Fool.
Do not expose too much of yourself to the client. Keep your inner child safe and protected. It is not the client’s job to “see” you. Make sure you get your own healing so you do not expect your clients to be your healer. Page of Wands reversed.
A client may have a huge ego reaction to being told the spiritual truth. That ego reaction can invoke all sorts of bad behaviors, manipulation, anger, self sabotage and healing sabotage. The client could even turn on you and start insulting you. (Oh, it’s happened to me too many times to count.) Hold steady. Hold your spiritual nerve. Don’t engage or react. Leave the situation and process your own ego issues so that you know what is yours and what is theirs. The Devil.
Having a healing business cannot be only about the money or the number of clients. If you’re writing a business plan or creating a business model, with healing work it’s difficult to plan it according to projections of income or number of clients because that’s more in the ego realm than in the spiritual realm. Focus instead on being a pure channel of light for the greatest and highest good for yourself and the others you touch. I have found the more I do this, the more my entire life improves dramatically. Blessings come in unexpected ways, money comes in unexpected ways. Eight of Wands reversed. Ten of Coins reversed. Star.
Allow yourself to grapple with boundary issues. We’re entering a new paradigm where the old ego rules are being overhauled by a new spiritual truth. The transformation to the planet is happening quickly because of the serious environmental threats we face. Because of the speed of this paradigm shift, more and more people are being called to heal and we all have many questions on how to do it well, how to do it without becoming so overwhelmed we cannot function. Let’s learn these new rules together with compassion for ourselves and others. I’d like to suggest books by psychic Sonia Choquette — Diary of a Psychic, Heart’s Desire, Soul Purpose — for more information on how to handle being spiritually open.
Want a tarot reading? I am increasing my tarot rates as of July 1 to $125 per hour reading and $70 per 1/2 hour. Please contact me in the next two months if you’d like a reading at the lower $100/$50 rate. carolineallen@aol.com www.creativetarot.com.
